As a small illustration of her long, idiosyncratic writing career, Joy Hakim likes to tell the story of a chance encounter in an Oakland elevator.

On the way down after a speaking engagement, a woman handed her a slip of paper 鈥� it contained the phone number of her son鈥檚 private school. He and his classmates, she said, could really benefit from their school swapping out its traditional history textbooks for a set of Hakim鈥檚.

Asked who she was, the woman admitted that she was a representative of one of the big publishing houses.

鈥淚 was appalled,鈥� Hakim remembered. 鈥淏ut this is an industry where almost no one believes the books educate well 鈥� and scores prove that.鈥� 

Hakim doesn鈥檛 know if the school ever switched over. But the episode underscores her uncomfortable place in an industry that has never quite embraced her. By turns raw, thrilling and eye-opening, her writing offers young people a look at history that they rarely get between the covers of mass-produced textbooks.

Her most well-known work, a 10-volume history of the United States that began appearing in the early 1990s, remains in print. And at age 93, she鈥檚 still in the fight: Her newest series on biology debuted in September, continuing her tradition of wrestling with complicated ideas and difficult historical and scientific questions. 

But even after three decades, she remains unsure that she鈥檚 made much of an impact as textbooks with bigger promotional budgets enjoy much wider readerships. 

That view is belied by her legions of admirers. Praised by leading historians like David McCullough and James McPherson, she also may be the only textbook author to reliably receive fan mail. At one of her kids鈥� houses sit cases of letters, testament to the gratitude of two generations of readers. 

, podcaster and author of , who has championed deep subject matter knowledge in all areas of study, called Hakim 鈥渁 force of nature.鈥�

鈥淢ost textbooks are either extremely dry or so encyclopedic in their attempts to cover the universe of topics that they’re highly superficial and therefore boring,鈥� Wexler said. 鈥淛oy Hakim understands how to use the power of narrative to bring topics in history and science to life.鈥�

Wexler predicted that if more schools adopted Hakim鈥檚 titles, reading scores would jump because her work offers both the knowledge and vocabulary kids need to succeed on tests. 

And as the nation grows increasingly polarized about history, Hakim鈥檚 work eschews easy categorization. It is championed by liberals for not glossing over our dark past 鈥� and by conservatives for offering rigorous, challenging texts and sophisticated arguments.

, a senior fellow at the right-leaning American Enterprise Institute and a former New York City teacher, said Hakim鈥檚 history series 鈥渉ad a place of honor in my fifth-grade classroom and deserves a place of privilege in every school. It’s beyond her power to reverse the long-running and in American education, but she’s done her part to make real history accessible and interesting to those who seek it out, or who are engaged by it.鈥�

Hakim鈥檚 books, he said, offer an important antidote to those that aim to trick kids into learning a little history via historical fiction or lightweight, fantasy-driven fare. 鈥淗akim is winningly anachronistic by comparison: She takes history 鈥� and more pertinently her young readers 鈥� seriously.鈥�

But she has often had to fight simply to be heard by school districts under adoption systems she sees as backwards. Teachers and students are hungering for good books, Hakim said, yet the adopted titles often stem from publishers鈥� long-standing relationships with state education bureaucrats, whom they lobby furiously. 

鈥�I don’t think that they sell whether they’re good or crappy,鈥� she said. 鈥淭hey sell because of this massive promotional effort that goes into them.鈥�

鈥業 sat down and I started writing鈥� 

Hakim鈥檚 career as a writer for young people began simply, on a long car drive.

A one-time teacher and journalist 鈥� she taught in Baltimore for a spell and was both a business and editorial writer for The Virginian-Pilot, Norfolk鈥檚 daily newspaper 鈥� by the 1980s, she was freelancing in Virginia Beach and raising three kids with her husband, a grain importer. She happened upon a notice for a hearing in Richmond, the capital, by a board looking for ways to improve school textbooks. At that pre-Internet time, it was a topic that aroused national attention. Hakim (pronounced HAKE-im) decided to check it out.

She expected to hear testimony from writers and editors. Instead, the publishers sent salespeople, who in her view stonewalled the proceedings by rhapsodizing about how beautifully designed and illustrated the books were.

鈥淭he whole thing was just a hoax,鈥� she recalled. 鈥淭he publishing industry was not serious about doing anything.鈥�

Steaming, Hakim climbed back into her car and began the two-hour drive home. At some point, she thought to herself: Why not write her own history book?

鈥淚 sat down and I started writing,鈥� she said.

Hakim didn鈥檛 stop for seven years, telling vivid personal stories of America鈥檚 founders, pioneers and others.

As she conceived it, the book aimed for a fifth-grade audience. To get direct feedback, she tapped a small group of 10-year-olds in her neighborhood, offering five dollars apiece to critique her manuscript. Hakim instructed the readers 鈥� mostly boys 鈥� to scrawl one of three reactions in the margins: G for Good, B for Boring and NC for Not Clear. 

Next, she invited classroom teachers to use the manuscripts in exchange for feedback. 

That one book ultimately became a 10-volume manuscript called . 

The books covered much of what she鈥檇 decided was important in American history 鈥� as she told one interviewer, from 鈥減eople coming over the Bering Strait鈥� to Bill Clinton’s inauguration.

And they offered children a thrilling narrative. In a chapter on Columbus鈥� voyages, she wrote that after surviving the treacherous waters of the Sargasso Sea, the explorer鈥檚 men wanted to turn back: 鈥淭he sea seems endless. On October 9 they say they will go no farther. Columbus pleads for three more days of sailing. Then, he says, if they don鈥檛 see land they may cut off his head and sail home in peace.鈥�

But for all the books鈥� originality, Hakim lacked a publisher. Eventually she met a literary agent who successfully garnered the attention of Oxford University Press.

, in a review titled, 鈥淪howing Children the Dark Side,鈥� said Hakim 鈥渇rees children from the grasp of hoary American myth nurtured by novelists and historians; without sermonizing, she allows them to glimpse the horrific underside of the once magical word 鈥榝rontier.'” 

Hakim, for instance, was among the first writers for young people to address the 1839 Amistad rebellion, devoting an entire chapter to the slave uprising four years before the incident rose to prominence with the .

Historian David McCullough called the series “a big breath of fresh air and the best possible news for the youngsters who get to read these books.” 

Princeton University historian James McPherson said he was 鈥渋mpressed by the accuracy and the depth of her research,鈥� telling one reviewer that Hakim鈥檚 books represented women and minorities in ways others hadn鈥檛.

鈥業 have done something that鈥檚 quite different鈥�

Like many authors, Hakim felt Oxford did little to publicize the series, leaving her to do much of the promotion herself. But in 1993, a family friend opened a key door: The composer BJ Leiderman, a long-ago classmate of one of her children, was by then writing for National Public Radio. He suggested to colleagues that they feature her, and soon Hakim found herself in front of a microphone at the network鈥檚 Norfolk affiliate. The result was a lengthy 鈥淢orning Edition鈥� segment that helped introduce her to the world.

In the interview, she told host Bob Edwards, 鈥淭he history books that are out there, most of them are committee-written, and committees can’t write. Committees have to be bland. So, I am doing something 鈥� that’s quite different.鈥�

Looking back on the reception she got in 1993, Leiderman said Hakim was 鈥減rogressive in the best sense of the word, searching out all different areas鈥� to study.

All the same, he recalled, selling the books 鈥� sometimes on her own 鈥� struck him as a long, tough slog reminiscent of veteran rock stars playing small clubs to keep their music alive.

Despite the struggle 鈥� or perhaps because of it 鈥� 鈥淎 History of US鈥� soon became one of Oxford鈥檚 rock-solid titles, selling hundreds of thousands of copies, said Damon Zucca, the publisher鈥檚 director of content development and reference. The series has also received 鈥渢he most fan mail from kids, parents, and teachers, who have been sending ardent missives about these books to Joy and to us for nearly thirty years now.鈥�

But keeping them in classrooms has been a battle. Hakim recalled visiting Oakland schools a year after the district adopted her books, curious how they were being used. She couldn鈥檛 find them anywhere. 鈥淭hey’d all been replaced,鈥� she said. A few teachers told her they鈥檇 saved their copies and were literally hiding them in closets to keep administrators in the dark. 

At one point, Hakim even sued after textbook giant Houghton Mifflin purchased the books鈥� distributor, D.C. Heath. Fearing it was a bid to bury the titles, she pursued an antitrust violation. Civics-geek alert: The case eventually landed before the federal bench of Judge Sonia Sotomayor, who 14 years later would rise to the U.S. Supreme Court. 

Hakim eventually got the books out from under the big publisher鈥檚 purview. Now Houghton Mifflin Harcourt, it didn鈥檛 respond to a request for comment. 

Eventually, 鈥淎 History of US鈥� gave rise to a companion with all-star voice talent including Morgan Freeman, Julia Roberts and Robert Redford. But by then Hakim was on to something new: a three-book series about the history of science, from Aristotle to Einstein.

Then as now, Hakim鈥檚 most fervent buyers are often private school teachers and homeschooling parents who are free to use materials that appeal to them. She also holds a kind of magnetic appeal to cultural conservatives like Lynne Cheney who have derided public school readings they view as mushy and politically correct.

Yet conservatives have also protested Hakim鈥檚 books. In one case, Texas parents organized a letter-writing campaign, telling state officials that the books were unpatriotic.

They鈥檝e been banned at least twice, as far as Hakim knows 鈥� once quite recently after a parent complained that they were too liberal. She jokes that the honor puts her in good company. 

Asked how she鈥檇 categorize herself, Hakim doesn鈥檛 hesitate. 鈥淚’m just a teacher,鈥� she said. 鈥淢y books talk. I’m in a conversation with these kids and I respect their intelligence 鈥� and they understand that.鈥�

鈥楾his is a tough chapter鈥�

Ask about her workflow and Hakim will tell you that she is blessed with 鈥� or cursed by 鈥� a journalist鈥檚 penchant for accuracy, which often prolongs her creative process. In the case of the science books, she finished the last one 鈥� on Albert Einstein鈥檚 theory of relativity and the origins of quantum mechanics 鈥� and her new publisher had submitted it for peer review, when she received an unsolicited email from an unfamiliar name with an mit.edu address.

It was from renowned physics professor , also editor of the American Journal of Physics. He鈥檇 read a piece in TIME magazine about her plan to write about Einstein and offered to read the manuscript.

Hakim sent him the first four chapters. A few days later, Taylor wrote back asking if someone had actually reviewed them.

He and Hakim met a few times and, in Taylor鈥檚 words, 鈥済ot to know 鈥� and respect 鈥� each other.鈥� In all, they spent the next year-and-a-half revising the book, to the chagrin of Smithsonian Books. 鈥淭hey were not happy with me,鈥� Hakim recalled. 鈥淏ut I’m so happy that I did it.鈥�

In the book鈥檚 introduction, Hakim wrote of the 鈥減rivate tutorial with one of the greatest physics teachers this country has produced,鈥� adding, 鈥淪ometimes my head hurt with all the stretching.鈥�

The book won several best-of-the-year awards, which she credits largely to Taylor鈥檚 influence. For his part, Taylor told 社区黑料 that Hakim 鈥渕ade great contributions to high school science teaching鈥� and deserves wider recognition. 

As with the history series, the science books found a devoted audience as Hakim challenged young readers to grasp hard topics and complex ideas. In a chapter explaining Galileo’s writings on relativity, Hakim urged them to “catch your breath, relax and be prepared to stretch your mind.” 

In the chapter, she described how an observer on shore, watching a ball fall from the mast of a moving ship, sees it move in an arc, while an observer on deck sees it travel in a straight line. Acknowledging that the idea seemed outlandish, she warned: “This is a tough chapter; stick with it; the ideas here are important.”

Indeed, when journalist and scholar Alexander Stille set out to capture the essence of Hakim鈥檚 history books in 1998, he concluded, 鈥淚nstead of talking down to children in simplified language, her books invite children to make an effort.鈥� He that 鈥渁 grandmother from Virginia鈥� could produce books superior to those of most publishing houses.

鈥楾he world has changed鈥�

Now, nearly 20 years after the science texts first appeared, Hakim is out with a new series for teens about the history of biology.

gave the first volume a coveted starred review, calling it 鈥渢horoughly engrossing and highly recommended.鈥澛�

The second book is due out in April, part of a planned four-volume series. Published by MITeen Press, the last two books won鈥檛 appear until 2025 and 2026 respectively, but Hakim jokes that at her age she may not live to see it in readers鈥� hands.

She has asked her publisher to pick up the pace.

At the same time, she remains unsatisfied about her previous work: Three decades after 鈥淎 History of US鈥� began appearing on shelves, Hakim says the series could use a refresh. 

鈥淚 wrote it 30 years ago, so some of it is really dated,鈥� she said with a self-conscious laugh. For one thing, she wants to recast the role of women, a topic she didn鈥檛 adequately address in the 1990s, mostly due to her own blind spot. An avowed feminist, she now sees she didn鈥檛 step back enough and appreciate the importance of the women鈥檚 movement. 

鈥淭hirty years ago, we were different people than we are today,鈥� she said. 鈥淭he world has changed.鈥� 

Yet, oddly, little has changed in Hakim鈥檚 career. Her husband is gone and the 鈥済randmother from Virginia鈥� is now a great-grandmother, but she still feels like a disruptor and an outsider, angry that we don鈥檛 have 鈥渂etter books鈥� in schools. After millions of words on the page and cases of fan mail, she admits that she has barely struck a blow in the nation鈥檚 larger battle with historical illiteracy.

The textbook industry that she set out to disrupt in the 1980s is still dominated by a handful of publishers 鈥� actually, consolidation has , not more, choices. Together, they still produce what she considers bland, formulaic books that are making the nation鈥檚 reading crisis worse, not better.

鈥淚’ve worked all these years and I’m not sure what I’ve achieved,鈥� she concluded. 鈥淚’ve sold some books, but I haven’t changed the field.鈥�

Oh, and they鈥檙e fun.

That sophistication 鈥� and a bit of that fun 鈥� may soon be coming to school assessments.

Educators and developers are increasingly looking to the digital world of games and simulations to make tests more stealthy, playful and, they hope, useful. In the process, the new assessments may also push schools to become more creative.

鈥淭he idea is: Can assessment be more embedded?鈥� said Y.J. Kim, an at the University of Wisconsin鈥揗adison. 鈥淐an assessment be more exciting? Can assessment be more flexible?鈥�

In November, NWEA, which publishes the widely used , unveiled a 3D digital assessment on the popular that tests how well middle-schoolers have learned Newton鈥檚 .

The game, called Distance Dash, requires two students to work together to launch vehicles of different sizes and payloads. The goal: Get both to the finish line in perfect sync.

Students pick a skateboard, a bike, a grocery cart or an automobile, load each with different items, then collaboratively fine-tune the forces placed on them. The whole time, the game covertly measures several objectives, including whether students understand the principles of acceleration and how to apply optimal force.

Tyler Matta, NWEA鈥檚 vice president of learning sciences engineering, said the assessment grew out of the , which require students to analyze and interpret data and understand patterns.

He said helping design it was a stretch for NWEA test makers, who hadn鈥檛 previously worked with game designers. 鈥淲e got to see what goes into building educational games, which was all very novel for us. We learned a ton.鈥�

The organization is working with developer , which has produced . 

鈥淎s an assessment, it’s important that you actually have the ability to fail,鈥� explained Filament鈥檚 Kenny Green, the project鈥檚 producer. The data it generates 鈥� for instance, how many times students tried and what modifications they made 鈥� are all important for teachers to see. 

The new exam appears as Roblox, the popular gaming platform, moves further into schools. Last October, it said it鈥檒l to expand educational experiences on its platform, two years after an initial $10 million outlay. 

Rebecca Kantar, Roblox鈥檚 head of education, said physics lends itself well to such collaborative simulations. Distance Dash, she said, is 鈥渞epresentative of the kind of team-based problem solving real scientists do when they’re working through a physics problem in real life.鈥� 

Another recent development: In 2022, the Organisation for Economic Co-operation and Development assessed creative thinking for 15-year-old students in more than 60 countries via the assessment, which boasts interactive items that allow students to submit drawings with a . 

The test also includes open-ended tasks with 鈥渘o single solution but multiple correct responses,鈥� organizers said. The first results are expected this year.

Advocates hope to someday make tests more personalized and, in many ways, indistinguishable from games, said Bo Stjerne Thomsen of the . 鈥淲hat we hope is that playfulness becomes a serious part of assessment,鈥� he said.

Better still, more playful tests, he said, could open the door for schools to offer more creative, inquiry-based learning. 

He and others who are support the new tests don鈥檛 mince words: They envision a world where the kind of high-stakes, multiple-choice tests we all grew up with give way to assessments that for the first time allow teachers to capture a broader array of 鈥渘on-cognitive qualities鈥� such as teamwork and creativity, while keeping students focused on learning.

鈥淓very time you try to pause an experience or stop a learning experience, it actually stops the engagement,鈥� said Thomsen. It鈥檚 the same with play: 鈥淎s soon as you start measuring play, the play stops.鈥�

鈥業t’s about you engaging with someone else鈥�

Tests can also be demotivating, even though they鈥檙e designed to help students show what they鈥檝e learned, said Yigal Rosen, who led the creation of the PISA test.

He recalled interviewing fourth-graders who had taken NAEP science exams: At least one-third of the questions, according to students, were 鈥渟uper boring鈥� and not engaging.

鈥淭hey will skip them,鈥� Rosen said. 鈥淭hey will just select 鈥榃hatever.鈥欌��

Now the chief academic officer at , the learning software company, Rosen recalled that when his team tweaked the NAEP test with a 鈥減layful version鈥� that invited students to work together, he said, scores rose by 50%. 鈥淚t’s no longer about you just responding to this dry prompt,鈥� he said. 鈥淚t’s about you engaging with someone else.鈥�

When they think of playful assessments, most teachers probably think of digital tools like the popular learning platform , which allows teachers to create game show-like quizzes and polls that engage students on mobile phones and other devices. Louisa Rosenheck, Kahoot鈥檚 director of pedagogy, admitted that testing, for all its progress, is 鈥渟till an underdeveloped, untapped area.鈥� 

Digital tools like Kahoot that help teachers do informal assessments as they teach are helpful because they 鈥渇eel more low-stakes鈥� than traditional tests. 鈥淚t’s very quick, it’s informative. You can get feedback very, very easily,鈥� she said. 鈥淏ut the question types, the formats, often are still kind of discrete items.鈥�

In that sense, she said, they don鈥檛 take advantage of what good games can do: Collect extensive data on students鈥� thinking and decision making 鈥� much more important indicators than whether they got the correct result. But that鈥檚 expensive, so many educational games simply assess how far a player gets and how many tasks or levels she completes.

鈥楽tealth assessment鈥�

Researchers have been toying with the idea of more playful assessments for decades. Nearly 20 years ago, researcher began looking at ways to seamlessly weave tests directly into the fabric of instruction.

Shute devised the idea of 鈥渟tealth assessment,鈥� a system that discreetly tests students鈥� learning in interactive and immersive environments such as digital games. 

Aside from offering a less obtrusive way to measure learning, stealth assessment aimed to help with 鈥渇low,鈥� the mental state in which a person is so engaged and exhilarated by a task that they forget they鈥檙e working. 

For most students, any exhilaration melts when test time nears.

鈥淎ssessment is inherently about power,鈥� said the University of Wisconsin鈥檚 Kim. 鈥淎ssessment is inherently about evidence and rules.鈥�

By contrast, the new kinds of assessments empower students to challenge and question rules. In one proposed scenario, students in the PISA creativity test are asked to build a paper airplane, then come up with ideas to improve it.

In another, students design a 鈥渂icycle of the future,鈥� suggesting three original improvements over standard bikes. Then they鈥檙e asked to tweak the design of a proposed anti-theft camera mounted on the bike. Finally, since the future bicycle is automatically powered, they must suggest 鈥渁n original way to reuse or repurpose鈥� the pedals.

鈥淭he idea should be original,鈥� the test says, 鈥渋n the sense that not many students would think of it.鈥�

Kim has spent the past few years developing playful assessments for the classroom, originally with teachers, teacher trainees and game designers at MIT. Where Shute, her mentor at Florida State University, called it 鈥渟tealth assessment,鈥� Kim prefers the term 鈥減layful assessment.鈥�

鈥業t鈥檚 a mind shift鈥�

Kim has lately been testing something she calls the , a free, printable card game for teachers that Kim describes as 鈥淐harades meets Telephone鈥� to teach the process of drawing conclusions from a chain of evidence.

In the game, players take on one of three roles: Performer, Observer or Interpreter. They can only see one of the other two players, and gameplay proceeds as the performer silently acts out, in three movements or less, what鈥檚 on a card. The observer takes notes on what she sees and determines how to tell the interpreter what she saw. 

Like many in the field, Kim said a big roadblock to more playful tests is that so many school systems use assessments for teacher evaluations. 鈥淎t the end of the day, we are obsessed with the idea that 鈥楢ssessment is score: score about performance and proficiency.鈥欌��

Meanwhile, for most educators, play 鈥渋s not something that is productive,鈥� she said. 鈥淪o for teachers to kind of switch their mindset in terms of, ‘Assessment can be fun, and this is an assessment,’ it’s a mind shift.鈥�

It goes without saying, but last year was strange and rough for everyone. I lost my grandmother, watched the world rally against police brutality and saw school descend into chaos.

I fully expected everything to just continue going downhill as the world made less and less sense. Like most people during the pandemic, being locked in the same room for what felt like forever made me unimaginably depressed. The only time I got to leave the house was to bury my grandmother.

In the beginning of the pandemic, the idea of being able to 鈥渆njoy鈥� my schoolwork, even from the comfort of my own bed, felt like a paradox. I鈥檝e never been a bad student by any sense of the word, but I always tried to separate school from my personal life. The pandemic made that impossible.

I figured I had to focus on something besides the subtitles to the YouTube videos I was watching because I couldn鈥檛 hear them over the chips I was eating. But oddly enough, those random YouTube videos pushed me to where I am now.

One random day, at 3 a.m., I came to a startling conclusion: I was the person needed to solve the mysteries of the universe.

The revelation came when YouTube鈥檚 mysterious algorithm recommended a video of Neil deGrasse Tyson discussing water towers. It told me entirely too much about something I thought I鈥檇 never think about again. But even now, I sometimes blurt out, 鈥淔un fact: The rings on a water tower get closer together the closer they are to the bottom of the tower because the water is heavier down there.鈥� Here in Chicago, most people don鈥檛 see water towers on tops of buildings, and that鈥檚 what made it so interesting to me. From there, I dove further into his work and quickly found myself moving from water towers to theories about the 鈥渕ultiverse.鈥� Admittedly, it was a steep learning curve.

Neil DeGrasse Tyson鈥檚 discussions of the fundamentals of astrophysics hooked me more than any Netflix show. There was just something about Tyson that kept me coming back and trying to pick his brain apart. I wanted to be like him and talk endlessly with others about the wonders of the universe.

Almost every night, I would pretend I knew what he was saying and attempt to apply this newfound 鈥渒nowledge鈥� to life as I knew it. Then I thought to myself: This would be a lot easier if I just studied what he鈥檚 talking about. I officially decided that AP Physics and physics as a whole was something that I really wanted to devote myself to.

To my surprise, education gave me something to be happy about, rather than numb, at a time when all my days felt the same. Having a third of my day fly by because I was too busy figuring out gravitational potential energy was rewarding enough. But feeling like I was actually productive at a time when productivity no longer seemed to matter offered a solace I didn鈥檛 know I needed. It kept me together to the point where I no longer feared I鈥檇 break. A lot of students kind of gave up at this point in the pandemic. So when I became the only student to show up to some of the Google Meets for help and saw my teachers smile because this was the first time they felt they were really able to do their jobs during the pandemic, it made me feel seen and valued. It made everything feel just the tiniest bit normal.

Physics was a bit hard and frustrating at first, but by the end of Honors Physics last year I had my own mini-Tyson moment: Someone asked me for help with their test. They initially wanted me to take the test for them, then thanked me for instead staying on the phone for an hour to discuss the material and explain it so they not only understood the test, but aced it. It made me realize how much I knew, and how effortlessly I was able to explain it to someone who had ignored school for months.

I never felt more like Neil than in that moment. In fact, whenever I feel as if I鈥檓 losing my determination, I go back to his videos about those pointless water towers to get rejuvenated. I had no idea how hard AP Physics was going to be. There were a few times where I felt defeated after taking a test that I knew I was going to fail before I even started, and all I had left to keep me pushing forward was Neil convincing me that it was only a low point, not the end. I realized that what I loved about his work is that he loved his work. I never wanted to be as smart as Tyson 鈥� that felt impossible. I just wanted to care as much as he did.

I decided to do for others what Tyson unintentionally did for me. As of September 2020, I鈥檝e been a member of the , a network of students across the country taking grassroots action to create change in their schools and communities. A few months later, I joined the student council, an organizing committee of students with the goal of improving schools through more equitable, effective and efficient policies. At the same time, I鈥檓 pursuing a career as a teacher through , an Illinois scholarship aimed at tackling the teacher shortage in schools of need. Hopefully, I鈥檒l be empowering youth and pushing them to become the people they want to be 鈥� something I didn鈥檛 really have growing up. , which made me not believe in myself. I hope for a world where no students have to doubt themselves.

I recently met my English teacher鈥檚 niece, who is not only a Golden Apple scholar but a huge chemistry buff. She practically slammed a stack of Golden Apple paperwork on her desk, and with a smile that said, 鈥淭his ain鈥檛 my first rodeo, kid,鈥� began to break down the processes of Golden Apple and how to prepare for them. The biggest takeaway was just to be myself. After speaking to her, I can wholeheartedly say I鈥檝e never believed someone more when they said, 鈥淭he world needs someone like you.鈥� Because of my teachers (and their nieces) I now know that if I want the next generation to understand that what they will do with their knowledge 20 years from now matters, what I do with my knowledge now has to matter as well.

The pandemic won鈥檛 last forever. I will be returning back to school in Chicago pretty soon, two days out of the week. I鈥檓 not worried. In fact, I鈥檓 very excited to return to normal with this newfound look on life. I鈥檓 a senior in my last semester. I just hope it鈥檚 not too late for me to make as big of an impact as I鈥檇 like. I only started this journey close to the end of my junior year. It kind of sucks to think how much further along I鈥檇 be to becoming a teacher and a voice for educational equity if I鈥檇 started earlier. I just hope that 鈥渘ormal鈥� doesn鈥檛 mean a loss of motivation. I don鈥檛 think it will. I鈥檝e come too far over the past year to just give up. I hope for a better tomorrow and I feel as if it鈥檚 finally coming.

My only fear is that being 6 feet apart will be too close for comfort. I鈥檝e gotten used to not having to explain my choices as an introvert.

Jimmy Rodgers is a senior at George Westinghouse College Preparatory High School in Chicago.

鈥淧andemic Notebook鈥� is an ongoing collection of first-person, student-written articles about what it is like to live through the coronavirus pandemic. Have an idea? Please contact Executive Editor Andrew Brownstein at Andrew@The74million.org.